Sunday, April 5, 2009
chivalry is dead...and women killed it.
i think that's a fairly true statement. women have allowed chivalry to die. whether men started chivalry on its decline or women did, i don't know, but i do know that had WE demanded it stay in place...it would have.
several weeks ago i was moving clothing on a rolling rack from my storage space to my car. on the way out of the building a young man (i know i sound like I'm 80)was walking into the building. he immediately stepped back from the door and held it open and said "allow me." of course i said "thank you" and he replied "my pleasure". as soon as it happened i started thinking how sweet he was, especially because he said things like "allow me" as though it was his honor to open the door. it just felt different than the usual guy opening the door. more genuine.
so, as I'm continuing on to the car and lost in my thoughts of how men just aren't chivalrous like they used to be, i reach my car and as i was opening the car door the wind knocked the rack down, just then another guy walks past looks down at the rack and all the clothes on the dirty parking lot ground and just keeps walking.
i couldn't believe it. i would never let anyone, male or female just stand there when they drop something. it should be human nature to offer to help. in a span of 1 minute i saw both ends of the spectrum of modern chivalry (or the lack thereof).
ever since then the idea of chivalry has been nagging at me. it reminded me of the movie Roman Holiday, with Audrey Hepburn and Gregory Peck (I had a period where all I watched was old movies, they are so romantic).
in the movie Hepburn is a princess so some scenes are very formal in the way men treat her...but I remember things like the way Peck spoke to her and treated her and men standing up when she walked in a room. I don't understand why men still don't do that. I stand up when an elder walks in the room...and men should stand up when a lady walks in the room.
Men should always do things like open your door, pick you up at your house for a date, walk you to the door or at least wait until you get inside before they drive off, light your cigarette (i only do it when i drink), allow you to order first (even order for you in some cases), if there are 2 men in a car, the passenger should always allow you the front passenger seat, I also think men should always pay on a date. That's not a gold digger statement, that's just how it should be. If I ever offered to pay on a date and the man let me, there would NEVER be a second date. as much as i am a feminist, that one will never die.
men should also say things like that "young man" said to me..."allow me", "my pleasure", "the pleasure was all mine"...it's not only sweet and shows good breeding but it's also very sexy.
the other night, a friend somewhat jokingly kissed my hand when he greeted me..but it made me realize how it would be lovely if men always did that.
i don't want to revert back to 1950's roles of men and women. we've evolved and the power and Independence that women have today is a beautiful thing and good for men too. but just because we are independent or have successful careers does not mean we don't still want to be taken care of or protected. or treated like a lady. and i have feeling that men miss playing that role as much as women miss receiving that treatment.
i was reading an article about this topic and within the article was a quote from a facebook group called "what happened to chivalry?" an anonymous user wrote the following comment:
"Women, let us protect you or else we will fall to the next thing, and we will prey on you."
scary thought...but already proven to be true. turn on the tv and you'll see what has happened since the death of chivalry displayed on shows like rock of love, girls next door, for the love of ray j or any rap video ever made. women have always been demeaned and subjugated since the beginning of time...but it's at an all time and very public high right now...mostly because women are not only allowing it, but actively participating in it.
so with that said....i officially call for the Resurrection of chivalry!
(now, can someone tell me how i go about making that a reality?)